We visit graves everytime, while burying someone, when visiting the grave of a love one, or when just accompanying someone. But we are unaware of some of the things we do that are just wrong. I'm not an expert but here are a few stuff I'd like to share from my readings in a book and from the net. These are common issues I've observed when visiting graves. There are other issues I did not include that I hope the reader research on them on their own.
1. Why do we visit graves?
Buraydah related that Allah's Messenger saw said,
" I forbade you from visiting graves, but you may now visit them, for in visiting them there is a reminder of death." (Sahih Muslim, Sunan Abu Dawood)
To me visiting graves had never been about visiting the person at the grave. They're dead. There's nothing you can except pray if you are his/her sons and daughters (3 things that goes with you to the grave). Visiting graves has always been about
reminding yourself how short our lives are and how close to death we are. You are even permitted to visit the grave of a non-Muslim but prohibited in praying for them as it serve as a reminder and reflection. Even the Prophet was not allowed to pray for his own mother.
I'm uncertain of the reason for the earlier prohibition, so I welcome anybody with the info.
2. Doa
General doa should be made to all in the Muslim grave.
Muhammad ibn Qays quoted 'Aisyah as saying:
I asked: How should I pray for them, O Messenger of Allah? He replied, "Say: [Peace be on the believer and Muslim inhabitants of this city, may Allah have mercy on those who went before us and those coming after. Indeed we will - Allah willing - be joining you] (Doa in Arabic translated) (Sahih Muslim)
HOWEVERIt is prohibited from facing the grave during supplication.
Aboo Marthad al-Ghanawee quoted Allah's Messenger saw as saying,
"Don't pray towards grave nor sit on them." Prayers should be done to Allah, facing the direction of Kaabah, not to the deceased facing his grave. The deceased is not God. And he can't hear you. Do not make the deceased you God for it is shirk. this applies to any 'saints' grave and even the Prophet's saw (commonly done during Umrah or Hajj).
THERE IS NO BASIS OF READING THE AL-QURAAN IN GRAVES (Al-Fatihah, Yasin or whatever)
3. Walking between graves
Not many people know this or are ignorant. I just recently found out too.
Basheer, the freed slave of Allah's Messenger saw said,
"While I was walking with the Prophet saw, he passed by the graves of the pagans and said three times,' They left behind abundant good.' then he passed by the graves of the Muslims and said, 'They attained abundant good.' The Prophet saw then saw a man walking among the graves wearing sandals, so he called out, 'O you wearing sandals, beware! Remove your sandals!' The man looked around and he recognized Allah's Messenger saw, he took off his sandals and threw them away. (Sunan Ibd Majah, and Saheeh ABu Dawood)
You should not walk between the graves of the Muslims wearing your shoes. It was narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
“The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If I were to walk on hot coals or on a sword, or if I were to mend my shoes using my feet, that would be better for me than if I were to walk on the grave of a Muslim. And it makes no difference to me if I were to relieve myself in the midst of the graves or in the middle of the market-place [i.e., both are equally bad].’” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1567)
Walking between graves with shoes on is equivalent to pissing or shitting on a grave or in public. So take off those shoes.
4. Annual visit to graves
Is also prohibited.
Aboo Hurayrah narrated that The Prophet saw said,
"Don't make you houses graveyards, nor make my grave a place of celebration, and ask Allah's blessing for me, because it will reach me wherever you may be." (Saheeh Sunan Abu Dawood)
Remember the reason for visiting graves. Don't make it into an annual event.
5. Planting twigs on graves
This is not a Muslim or Islamic practice but a
non-Muslim practice and
should be avoided.
Now here's an exception and a story (lesson):
Ibn 'Abbaas reported that the Prophet saw once passed by the graves of two men who were being punished in their graves and said,
"They are not being punished for a major sin. One didn't use to protect himself from the splatter of urine and the other used to spread rumors." He then took a green leaf of a date-palm tree, split it into two pieces, and planted one on each grave. The people asked, "O Messenger of Allah! Why have you done this?" He replied,
"Perhaps it will reducetheir punishment as long as it remains green." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
Scholars believed that this act was specifically for the Prophet as his act was blessed and could reduce the punishment of the two men. Non of the sahabats practiced this, and so we
should not too.
5. Other Innovations
- Recital of Surah Al-Fatihah, Al-Baqarah and the last verses at the deceased head and feet. False hadith.
- Talqeen (telling the dead the say la illah ha illallah). He/She's dead. Can't hear you.
- Building structures over graves or placing gravestones to indicate the name and family of the dead. Money better spent on the living.
- Reciting azan at the grave. (Macam byk kat cita melayu je..)
- Recital of Yaseen at graveyards. Mentioned earlier.
There are other issues related to Funerals in Islam not mentioned here. I hope this has been helpful. Any mistakes I made please forgive me and correct me. Allah knows best.
References:
- Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips, Funeral Rites in Islam (1996), A. S. Noordeen
- http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/14287
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