Monday, June 28, 2010

On the Road

I take flight on the open road
Just like millions others
As if with purpose
With wings of steel, unopposed

The wind roars in my ears
Silencing noises I'm used to
As I scream of melodies
Of aging nostalgic memories

Rows of concrete rising high
Carpet green, never ending sky
Wandering others like me
Passed them by alongside memories

In his box of 31 thousand flavours bitter sweet
It's sometimes nice to view things from isolation
There's more room to think, to live
There's even more time to believe

Am I sure I fly with wings of steel?
Or am I just falling as my feathers peel?
Did I realize where lies my goal?
Or am I just a poor lost soul?

Please take me back!
To where I'm ought to be
Just anywhere, or everywhere
As long as I get there

Please give me everything!
of anything and nothing else
For this trip into the unknown
Which I travel alone

I am grateful
I have my feet and my tires
and a burning desire

I am hateful
For these sins that I carry
Til the day that I'm buried...


I'm alive...

Stil alive to make a difference
Set my second chances
Til my final breath said
Til my light burns dead

Please don't take us away
While we're off road, astray
Oh, Lord take our hands and guide us
Back on the Straight Road of Redemption


To Start Birding

What I Need To Start Birding:

- Good 5 senses
- Good binocs
- Good field guide
- Malaysia birds checklist on my BB
- Birding note book
- Learn more and more and more!
- Enthusiasm!

Heck, if I can start birding, I might as well start collecting diseases during my HO and later my whole career and start recording them and catalogue and photo. Time to plan and prepare!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Another Hallux Valgus at the Mosque

It was this morning after Subuh Prayers at the mosque I came upon this man (in his 50s?). He looked familiar rather... I looked at his feet and saw two hallux valgi bilateral. That kept me thinking, hey, could this be the same Pakcik Plastic Surgeon I met a while back?

So I greeted him with a salam and he replied.

"Excuse me, are you the doctor I met awhile back?"

"No, you mistook me for another person."

Hallux valgus memang common. I think if I threw a stone, it would hit one person in the mosque with hallux valgus. I have some minor degree of hallux valgus!

But then the pakcik was friendly enough and asked if I was still working. No, I just graduated. Where? UIA. You're doing law? No, medicine. Oh!

My daughter was in UIA. What course? Medicine. She's 5 years older doing her Masters in Ortho in UM. Her names, Rifa (?) Aqidah. Small world.

I think there are a few doctors in the mosque now, a neurosurgeon, a plastic surgeon and the famous gynecologist Dr Hamid.

Doctors (consultants) under one roof. A fraternity of surgeons under one roof. Hopefully a pediatric surgeon soon.

I couldn't help thinking Masyallah. Pakcik's name's Subehan (apologies if I spelled wrongly). Then we went our separate ways.

Lesson: Don't identify a person by his feet. Look up.


Saturday, June 19, 2010

IMAM Symposium 2010

I am honoured to be able to participate in this year's IMAM meet. The presence of many prominent figures, IMAM's president, Prof. Dr. Abd Rasheed, Prof. Dr. Hafeez (from PAkistan coming here despite having his mother undergoing surgery at the same time), Prof. Dr. Zabidi, Prof. Dr. Moktar, Prof. Dr. Mohammed Hatta, Prof. Dr. Wan Hazmy and at the end Dato. Prof. Dr. Mohd Tahir. Alot of the HTAA consultants and UIA lecturers were also present including Prof Dr. Mohammed Fauzi, Dr. Fadzil, Dr. Sapari, Dato Zahari, and many more including HOs who are now MOs when I last met them in 3rd year and a Dr coming all the way from Sri Lanka just for the talk and a lot of medical students.

The participation of many prominent figures (I hava feeling I don't know many more tadi that attended) certainly made this event not to be looked down upon. It is a gathering of Muslim doctors in an attempt to discuss/share/promote whatever they have to present to elevate the Muslim physician in order to strive for excellence.

I am sure each has their own obligations at the hospital or wherever but these individuals have demonstrated great charisma and capability to still participate in 'extra-curricular' activities other than their compulsory work.

All these work are a part of their investment for the hereafter. After all, is not sadaqah jariah and knowledge that is used even after death are 2 of the stocks after death where pahala still cashes in?

During my, so far, 2 days of attending some of the talks, most that I went to promoted the importance of activism after undergraduate years. And the speakers have indeed convinced me that it is not only beneficial but must be done in order to better serve the Ummah. The talks had made me rethink my priorities and my objective in this life and the one after. Will working alone, rearing family be enough while I can do much more?

There are just too many things to share and I am quite tired, but one quote I would like to share coming from Prof. Dr. Hafeez:

On no man will Allah place a burden more than he can bear.

"Allah knows your limits but that does not necessary mean that you must not try find out your potential."

It is my hope that I and my friends will strive not only at work later but also do the extra things in order to excel in this life and the hereafter.


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Be as though you're a wayfarer

Hadith 40 (Nawawi)

On the authority of Abdullah bin Omar, who said: The messenger of Allah took me by the shoulder and said: "Be in the world as though you were a stranger or a wayfarer."

The son of Omar used to say: "At evening do not expect [to live till] morning, and at morning do not expect [to live till] evening. Take from your health for your illness and from your life for your death."

related by Bukhari

My own comments:

When I first read this, I was kind of confused with what the statement meant (I read the Indonesian version first; Jadilah Orang Asing [???]). I mean why become a foreigner? But this ones straight forward. This world's a transit. A terminal at the airport. You in someone else crib. And you're a stranger. This place doesn't belong to you. You should therefore respect the place. And since it's temporary and this place is unknown (you're a stranger remember?), so plan ahead to survive. Plan ahead for the next destination. It could mean some point ahead in time. As well as your final one. You never know how long you'll be here. Make every second count. Because there's no going back.

Monday, June 14, 2010

My Idols in Medicine

American Idol and all that junk is just bullshit. Not one person in any of the shows I can make an idol of. Mebe Simon for bein loose with his tongue.

List of Drs I've encountered or heard of that I wish to emulate. No names will be mentioned tho you may be able to guess a few:
  • Handsome, macho, cool, kind, keeps his team together, encourage open discussions, does what he does because he likes doing it (Peds Surgeon)
  • Straight forward. Disciplined. "Wrong." (Colorectal Surgeon)
  • Encourages doctors to be courteous at all times (Vascular Surgeon)
  • Encourages to think and put yourself in a patient's shoes. "What if the patient is your mother? your sister? [man?]" (Upper GI Surgeon/Hepatobiliary Surgeon)
  • Invites students to sit and discuss cases (Peds Surgeon)
  • Stays kiddy and silly while being professional at the same time (Pediatrician)
  • Good handwriting and documentation (O&G)
  • Passion to teach, finds students to teach even tho it should be the other way round (O&G, fertility)
  • Professional and courteous, never forcing a patient against his will (IM, chest team)
  • Strive to be the best and attach to students with passion to teach while finding time to watch Anime and TV series (Ortho, Hand Surgeon)
  • Encourage students to perform research (Ortho, Arthroplastic Surgeon)
  • Encourage Islamic conducts, ethics, and revival of Islamic scholarship and publication (Anesthesiologist)
  • Cool, calm, macho (ENT)
  • Encourage self confidence, and strive to be the best, as well as perform research (2 opthalmologist)
  • Goes back to the community and sacrifice time to help them (Family Medicine)
  • Skillful, patient first attitude, couldn't give a damn about hospital policy (Cardiosurgeon, Team Medical Dragon, Peds Surgeon, Saijou No Meii [The Best Skilled Surgeon])
  • Other countless Islamic physicians of old and other non-Muslims who dedicated their life for the pursuit of knowledge not only in medicine but in other areas of ilm without knowing the meaning of 'holiday'

Some quotes that stuck with me:

  • Attitude, attitude, attitude, knowledge
  • "Regardless of where you are (be posted) it is you who will make the difference for yourself."
  • "Practice - Waking up early."
  • "Cover your ass"
  • "I have research, commitment to the community, a family, teaching you all. What do you have? And still you sleep."
  • "Wrong."
  • "Hey! Who do you think you are making me look like a stupid fool! You have to have ethics!"
  • "When you see yourself look good, you look good."

I'm sure there's more but these are some I could think of now.

Other stuff:

I just read a bit about Imam Syafie. Despite memorizing the Al-Muwatta kitab, he still traveled and lived with Imam Malik, the writer of the book. By living with his teacher, not only did he learn direct from his but also indirectly by observing his habits and emulating them.


- Don't be arrogant even if you have all the knowledge in the world. because there are still things you don't know and need someone to teach.
- Have an idol and emulate the good things you see in him. Don't be too content with who you are right now.
- When you want something, especially knowledge, you need to sacrifice some of the things in life. Imam Syafie travelled from Mecca to Madinah to find and live with Imam Malik (mind you dulu takde kereta or bus) and he was from Ghazza, Palestine.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Don'ts during World Cup 2010

Don't (in no particular order)

- Forget to Semayang Subuh or any of the other prayers (if you can wake-up at 2 - 3 am for football, why not for God?)

- Forget tomorrow (especially if it's a weekday) is another day (of work, school, responsibilities)

- Be an asshole / bitch (your team losing or being drunk is not an excuse)

- Be drunk

- Bet (if you lose have the courtesy to pay-up. pandan muka. and don't ask for money from others to pay your bet or get involved with any alongs)

- Overeat. Damn easy to drink those sponsored Pepsis and keep ordering kuey tiow (especially when watching at a local mamak or stalls) for the whole 40 minutes or more and by the time football seasons over, you'd have gained a few kgs and lose your mobility

- Lose yourselves (keep sane, don't go crazy unless your team scored a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL in the finals)

- Forget to exercise. Sedentary lifestyle increases morbidity and mortality

- Waste money on useless trinkets. jerseys bole la kut

- Start throwing punches

- Cause a riot (whether your team won or lost. Usually its the former)

- Forget your girlfriends/wives. Kesian dorang. Get them involved. I know its not easy to leave football entirely

- Forget to watch a game of football (bila lagi?) (this ones from my brother)

In other words: World Cup 2010 is just an event in ANOTHER ORDINARY DAY! Don't get carried away by the hype and advertisement designed to empty your wallet and fill the coffers of the organizers by the time the games end. Just take the days just like any other days while enjoying ur teams playing.

Hava Happy World Cup.


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Plans, To What Ends?

Even before the Pro exam, all I did was plan and plan. Whether they are on paper or just stored in my mind (not very reliable in that case), that's what I did. When I planned, I felt somewhat in control. I at least felt I had a direction to follow.

I had purpose.

Or at least I thought I did.

  • How far did I plan?
  • How much of my plans have I executed?
  • How much have I achieved?
  • Were the outcomes worth it?
  • Were my plans even worth the effort?
  • Are they really important?

I wondered about that today. I couldn't recall the exact events that led me to this thought. Perhaps it was when I went to register for my Hajj. Now I remember. It was when I went to my grandmother's grave did I reflect that I was not prepared for life after death. I did not plan for it. Of course nobody could plan when they would die, but we should all prepare for the eventuality.

It hit me that most of my plans were sort of materialistic, although some important, but I noticed my plans were almost devoid of the development of my spiritual needs. Lacking any real preparations for the Hereafter. After all isn't this world just a transition to the next? A temporary terminal at the airport before the final eternal destination that awaits? Then why bog myself down with things that are insignificant, unimportant?

Again another self reminder of what needs to be done... Perhaps my plan this time should include the ultimate final outcome of my second life which what really matters in the end.