Visiting Graves in Islam

We visit graves everytime, while burying someone, when visiting the grave of a love one, or when just accompanying someone. But we are unaware of some of the things we do that are just wrong. I'm not an expert but here are a few stuff I'd like to share from my readings in a book and from the net. These are common issues I've observed when visiting graves. There are other issues I did not include that I hope the reader research on them on their own.

1. Why do we visit graves?

Buraydah related that Allah's Messenger saw said, " I forbade you from visiting graves, but you may now visit them, for in visiting them there is a reminder of death." (Sahih Muslim, Sunan Abu Dawood)

To me visiting graves had never been about visiting the person at the grave. They're dead. There's nothing you can except pray if you are his/her sons and daughters (3 things that goes with you to the grave). Visiting graves has always been about reminding yourself how short our lives are and how close to death we are. You are even permitted to visit the grave of a non-Muslim but prohibited in praying for them as it serve as a reminder and reflection. Even the Prophet was not allowed to pray for his own mother.

I'm uncertain of the reason for the earlier prohibition, so I welcome anybody with the info.

2. Doa

General doa should be made to all in the Muslim grave.

Muhammad ibn Qays quoted 'Aisyah as saying: I asked: How should I pray for them, O Messenger of Allah? He replied, "Say: [Peace be on the believer and Muslim inhabitants of this city, may Allah have mercy on those who went before us and those coming after. Indeed we will - Allah willing - be joining you] (Doa in Arabic translated) (Sahih Muslim)

HOWEVER

It is prohibited from facing the grave during supplication.

Aboo Marthad al-Ghanawee quoted Allah's Messenger saw as saying, "Don't pray towards grave nor sit on them." Prayers should be done to Allah, facing the direction of Kaabah, not to the deceased facing his grave. The deceased is not God. And he can't hear you. Do not make the deceased you God for it is shirk. this applies to any 'saints' grave and even the Prophet's saw (commonly done during Umrah or Hajj).


THERE IS NO BASIS OF READING THE AL-QURAAN IN GRAVES (Al-Fatihah, Yasin or whatever)

3. Walking between graves

Not many people know this or are ignorant. I just recently found out too.

Basheer, the freed slave of Allah's Messenger saw said, "While I was walking with the Prophet saw, he passed by the graves of the pagans and said three times,' They left behind abundant good.' then he passed by the graves of the Muslims and said, 'They attained abundant good.' The Prophet saw then saw a man walking among the graves wearing sandals, so he called out, 'O you wearing sandals, beware! Remove your sandals!' The man looked around and he recognized Allah's Messenger saw, he took off his sandals and threw them away. (Sunan Ibd Majah, and Saheeh ABu Dawood)

You should not walk between the graves of the Muslims wearing your shoes. It was narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If I were to walk on hot coals or on a sword, or if I were to mend my shoes using my feet, that would be better for me than if I were to walk on the grave of a Muslim. And it makes no difference to me if I were to relieve myself in the midst of the graves or in the middle of the market-place [i.e., both are equally bad].’” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1567)
Walking between graves with shoes on is equivalent to pissing or shitting on a grave or in public. So take off those shoes.

4. Annual visit to graves

Is also prohibited.

Aboo Hurayrah narrated that The Prophet saw said, "Don't make you houses graveyards, nor make my grave a place of celebration, and ask Allah's blessing for me, because it will reach me wherever you may be." (Saheeh Sunan Abu Dawood)

Remember the reason for visiting graves. Don't make it into an annual event.


5. Planting twigs on graves

This is not a Muslim or Islamic practice but a non-Muslim practice and should be avoided.

Now here's an exception and a story (lesson):

Ibn 'Abbaas reported that the Prophet saw once passed by the graves of two men who were being punished in their graves and said, "They are not being punished for a major sin. One didn't use to protect himself from the splatter of urine and the other used to spread rumors." He then took a green leaf of a date-palm tree, split it into two pieces, and planted one on each grave. The people asked, "O Messenger of Allah! Why have you done this?" He replied, "Perhaps it will reducetheir punishment as long as it remains green." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Scholars believed that this act was specifically for the Prophet as his act was blessed and could reduce the punishment of the two men. Non of the sahabats practiced this, and so we should not too.


5. Other Innovations

- Recital of Surah Al-Fatihah, Al-Baqarah and the last verses at the deceased head and feet. False hadith.
- Talqeen (telling the dead the say la illah ha illallah). He/She's dead. Can't hear you.
- Building structures over graves or placing gravestones to indicate the name and family of the dead. Money better spent on the living.
- Reciting azan at the grave. (Macam byk kat cita melayu je..)
- Recital of Yaseen at graveyards. Mentioned earlier.


There are other issues related to Funerals in Islam not mentioned here. I hope this has been helpful. Any mistakes I made please forgive me and correct me. Allah knows best.


References:
- Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips, Funeral Rites in Islam (1996), A. S. Noordeen
- http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/14287

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Grouches of the Day

1. RM 5 for a chop and signature

Got my surat Akuan Sumpah signed. For RM 5! Seriously they charge RM 5 for signing a few things and chop the paper in about 3 seconds. That's F****** extortion! I remember when my car got banged I ended up payin almost RM 60 - 80 to the police for documents and whatever. And I was the guy who got banged! Now I pity the other guy, as he had to fork out RM 300 in addition. No wonder people rather settler things without the police mediation cuz these guys are SHARKS!
2. Getting lost and tolls

Ok, not being able to find my way and going thru all the tolls maybe my bad, but my GOD there's just sooooo many freaking tolls. And that's within the Klang Valley! WTF!!

3. Toilets
Guys! If you can't piss straight then sit! Makes me wonder if your pants are clean or you just don't giva damn. I'd very much like to shop off these dicks. Then WTF is up with the toilet design where you twist the knob and a fountain comes spraying your ass?! It's not ergonomic at all! How the hell are you supposed to clean the anterior part of the perineum that way? And how I know the pipes been dump with shit?

Another Hallux Valgus at the Mosque

It was this morning after Subuh Prayers at the mosque I came upon this man (in his 50s?). He looked familiar rather... I looked at his feet and saw two hallux valgi bilateral. That kept me thinking, hey, could this be the same Pakcik Plastic Surgeon I met a while back?

So I greeted him with a salam and he replied.

"Excuse me, are you the doctor I met awhile back?"

"No, you mistook me for another person."

Hallux valgus memang common. I think if I threw a stone, it would hit one person in the mosque with hallux valgus. I have some minor degree of hallux valgus!

But then the pakcik was friendly enough and asked if I was still working. No, I just graduated. Where? UIA. You're doing law? No, medicine. Oh!

My daughter was in UIA. What course? Medicine. She's 5 years older doing her Masters in Ortho in UM. Her names, Rifa (?) Aqidah. Small world.

I think there are a few doctors in the mosque now, a neurosurgeon, a plastic surgeon and the famous gynecologist Dr Hamid.

Doctors (consultants) under one roof. A fraternity of surgeons under one roof. Hopefully a pediatric surgeon soon.

I couldn't help thinking Masyallah. Pakcik's name's Subehan (apologies if I spelled wrongly). Then we went our separate ways.

Lesson: Don't identify a person by his feet. Look up.


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Islam and Popular Perceptions

Fundamentalist

Terrorist

Jihad and holy war

Suicide bombings

Dictatorship

Spread by the sword

Rogue states and axis of evil

Anti-democracy

Barbaric laws and hudud

Polygamy

Pedophilic prophet

Backward

Saddam Hussein

Women oppressors

Homophobes

Genital mutilation

Traditionalist

Trouble makers

Ahmadenijad

3rd world

Stupid

Irrelevant

Boring

Narrow-minded

The list may go on and on...

Let's change the perception.

Abang Zul. Plight of the Society and Health Care.

I received a text message today from Dr Samsul this evening:

"Pesakit name Zulfikli tu sudah pun meninggal dunia ptg tadi."

We met Abang Zul the first time at KK Balok while we were undergoing our Family Medicine posting last year. He came for his regular diabetic check-up there. The last time I saw him and his mother was when he was admitted under nephrology in the medical ward I think earlier this year. He was undergoing dialysis.

The 32 year-old gentleman was diagnosed with diabetes since 11 years-old and had multiple complications related to diabetes including carbuncle, amputation, retinopathy, dyslipidemia, his latest complication being nephropathy and was under follow-up by multiple discipline including medicine, orthopedics, opthalmology, and dermatology. He was on insulin but his glucose level remained poorly controlled.

Ever since he was diagnosed his problems only progressed first taking his limbs, then his eyes, his kidney functions, then finally his life.
I'm not sure of the CoD but it might have been due to nephropathy as he was said to have uremic symptoms. A friend who was oncall in the A&E later told me that she met the patient who was brought in pulseless. Efforts to resuscitate him failed and he was then pronounced dead..

A lot of groups had come to visit him and write our home visit report including my own group.

He lived in Balok, Kuantan in a single storey-wooden kampung style house. His house was built next to a two-storey bungalow belonging to his uncle if I'm not mistaken. Next to it, his house looked like a shack. To get to his place you had to drive next to Muslim cemetery (which hada graffiti painted to its entrance wall saying "Jalan Rempit"). You can't see his house from the road. The first time we went we didn't really believe it was a house. The patient lived alone with his mother. His father had passed away a long time ago. His siblings mostly lived elsewhere raising their own families and working. The patient didn't have his own transportation and relied on his brother who came quite seldom to bring him for his checkups. His income mainly came in the form of contributions from his family members. His mother is unemployed and spent most of her time caring for his debilitated son.

He was a sporting chap. Not to say lively but humble and responded to us well despite having seen many students before us whom I'm sure had asked the same thing over and over. From the outside he didn't looked depressed. But when I asked him how he felt during one of our chats, he did indeed felt sad for his condition (which might be an understatement). I cannot imagine going through a debilitating illness at his age. He was as a friend rightly said, was a fighter surviving as long as he did.

A friend and I along with Dr Samsul and his wife went to visit the family just about an hour ago. I'm not sure if that'll be the last time I'll ever see the place.

I've been to funerals a few times and it was usually full. When we went there I only counted less than 20. It could be that news did not spread quick enough or relatives were living far away. Dr said that if it were a Dato' people would've flocked and ran to pay respect to him. But who was Abang Zul in this world?

We went inside to have a final look. He looked just the same as before. I felt immensely emotional at the time although we were nowhere related except through religion. After a few more minutes we said goodbye. I could only wonder how the mother felt. It might be for the best for her and her son? Only Allah knows.

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I think Ive written this something similar about Zul in an older blog post but I guessed I would like to re-highlight the plight of our community and health system.

Poverty is still a major issue in this country.
Education of health is poor.
Health delivery is also still poor.

The way I say it sounds like we live in a poor country. Unlike what we aim to achieve by 2020.

For En. Zul, the fact that he has suffered multiple complications from poorly controlled diabetes reflects the level of health care we have in this country. I am sure this is not an isolated case but just an example of numerous other similar cases of patients without the resources to care for their illness.

I only wish I had the statistics to back my claims but I think reading tabloids and newspaper, just strongly around the rural areas, working in the hospital and district clinic may reveal the reality of our country.

This is indeed pretty sad.

Im not writing this to blame anybody in particular but I think that the community and government is responsible in bringing ourselves out of this sorry state we're in. There will always be something we can contribute. Being an idealist, I believe that small things when done in large amount by a lot of people can make a mountain move. This can only happen when people are conscious of their surroundings and have the conscience to help make a difference.

I'm in a way grateful that my exposure during my medical training had helped a bit in opening my eyes and Im sure it will be opened wider still when I start working. Ive been talking a lot but have I initiated any real actions? I do hope that in the future when I've started working that I can make that difference though the road there will never be smooth and there will always be tribulations.

Meanwhile I can only pray and hope for the best for ALL of us.

New Perspective

Recently I went to Bro Shah Kirit's talk on Comparative Religion and was wowed by his experience and the way he spoke. Am not gonna elaborate what he talked about here but what got me was how much he changed and learned about Islam in the 14 years since he converted.

Having living as a non-Muslim, he has gained something which born-Muslims can never appreciate, the perspective from the other side of the fence. Only by living on two sides was he able to make a comparison between two lives. Actually living it is way better than just observing externally. Being a Muslim now, he, I believe, has come to appreciate the beauty of Islam more than any of born-Muslims have had. And through his experience he is then able to share that perspective with us. The same can be said when I read Muhammad Asad's Road to Mecca.

I believe that as a Muslim, there is a need to be aware of different perspectives that surrounds us. To live within the same society without exploring outside your own comfort zone and learn about the world around us, I believe we will not be able to grow intellectually. I applaud groups like YMP in Malaysia that has attracted Muslims from various backgrounds, race and nations and invited speakers both local and foreign to give that international feel to the group and again share different perspective in things. When I think about this, Islam is indeed powerful in this way as its brother and sisterhood is not bounded by borders of nations but only by a common Belief.

There is a need to incorporate and assimilate what is good as each individual/race/nation has their own certain advantages be it in their culture or way of living, knowledge, technological advancement, way of thinking etc. Only through this cultural exposure and integration can one not only appreciate the purpose of having different races in this world but also build himself in almost every aspect. Even the less likable aspect of a individual/race/nation can be taken as a lesson. Sociology has never been this interesting.

Besides, haven't the Quran in Al-Hujurat 49:13 explained:

"O mankind! We have created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other ..."

So get out! go socialize! travel! join the WoW community! read more books! attend more courses and talks! whatever, learn assimilate grow expand! and then share...

Despite all that, as a Muslim, all that exposure to perspectives should never deviate one from his hold to the teachings of the Quran and the Sunnah. And to strengthen ones knowledge of that requires him/her to continuously search for the truth hence the need to explore and search for that truth.

I hope Insyallah, that my continuing experience in life will further help me expand in wisdom for only a single purpose, to fulfill my responsibility as a better Muslim.

Allah knows best. May we all become better Muslims.

Peace Be Upon You!

Assalamualaikum
'Peace be upon you'

It was just then while I was jogging uphill (xde connection ape2) that the thought occurred to me. Coolnye greeting ni.

Contemporary greets include:

Hi
Hey
How are you?
Oi
Wei
Yo
How you doin?
Sup
Waddup
Dude
Dude!
Eya.........

But when you utter assalamualaikum to a brother or a sister, you're sorta saying

I hope you're at peace (with whatever).
I hope you are well.
I hope things go well for you.
I hope you're doing okay.

Even if the person is not at peace, you're wishing peace for him.

In other words, you are making doa for him/her.

What is a better greeting than that? Than wishing someone the best?

And what is a better respond than Waalaikumsalam? Same meaning only you put an 'and'. Its only courteous for the other person to wish the same for the other person.

Masyallah how the Muslim way of life wishes the best for their brothers and sisters.

So what's stopping us from making this a daily natural greet?

Is it too long to say? Too cumbersome? Too uncool? Too sqema? Too Islamic? Or not too up-to-date?

Or we just don't want peace with the other dude?


And Waalaikumsalam.